The Parrot of Destiny Or How I found Great Mexican food in the Suburbs

I've always been a fan of the Mexican food. On the same note, I've always held this idea that I alone knew all of the worthwhile places to score the best Mexican food in Sacto. My girlfriend has now forever proven me wrong. She introduced me to this place in Carmichael called, El Papagayo. Honestly, I had my doubts when I pulled up to the place. It looked pretty standard, even as I walked in I thought it looked like yet another standard Mexican restaurant. Once I was seated though the subtle differences set in. The fountain, the Frida Kahlo paintings, the tables with the carved parrots under glass, even the tecante beer pinates that adorned the ceiling, all these touches made for a remarkable Central American feel.

We quickly walked to the back and got ourselves a basket of the delicious homemade (at least they tasted homemade) chips and some salsa and proceeded to get our munch on. The food came out quickly. I had ordered the Banado burrito, which was basically a carne asada filled, 13 inch burrito covered in cheese and enchilada sauce. The meat was so tender and delcious not to mention that the entire burrito was as big as my forearm. This was a diet spoiler for sure. All this for the low, low price of $6.49. Can I get a "Hells yeah"? My girl ordered a plate that was piled high with moist and rich carnitas (that i had to sample throughout the meal) and proceeded to make carnitas taco's with the tortillas that came with it. Oh, and did i mention the free re-fills on Horchata. Thats right bitches, NEVER ENDING HORCHATA!!! I was a happy camper indeed. Needless to say, we both left completely full.

The Breakdown!

1 Banado Burrito
1 Carnitas Plate
1 Diet Coke
1 Horchata
Total Price = 22.74 (tip included)

Where to Find Them!
El Papagayo
5804 Marconi Ave
Carmichael, CA 95608
(916) 487-7742

The mythical search for late-night freshness....FOUND!

This last weekend was very taxing. My girlfriend and I went on a trip that started at a family gathering in Pittsburgh but ended up inside a crust-punk warehouse show in west Oakland where we were greeted with flaming jet engines and homemade pyrotechnics. Hessians aplenty covered in bad tattoos and black leather mixed with the half-shaved heads of aging dirty punk rockers as they filled this place to numbers that I'm sure hit easily 800 for attendance. After this disgusting display we ended up taking our beer addled bodies and crashing next to a beach which unfortunatly was cut short by a run-in with the cops. We eventually caught some sleep in a warehouse parking lot in south S.F. Needless to say, by the time we came back to glorious Sacto got cleaned up and napped for a while we were ravenously hungry for some food. More to the point, we needed pizza and lots of it. We were still pretty spaced-out as 2 hours of sleep in a car will do to you. So we were starting to get frustrated trying to find a place. This lead to a 15 minute conversation that went like:

Me: What do you feel like...?
My girl: I don't know...Anything. What do you feel like...?
Me: I don't know...Anything. What do you feel like...?
(wash and repeat 44 more times.)

We eventually ended up at Mark & Monica's Family Pizza. Now when you walk through the door, your instantly hit with a feeling of "this is what pizza places are supposed to look like". Wood everywhere, a sit down two player video game, a couple TV's, and a big screen. Basically it looked like Joe normal pizza parlor. We ordered the Timothy's Greek pizza which used their "Greek sauce" and from what i tasted seemed to be consist of olive oil, Parmesan and basil. As for toppings the pizza came with bell peppers, red onion, tomato, and olives topped off with beef and sausage to satisfy the intense meat cravings we were having. Now here's where i was starting to worry. See, we came in late. We were the end of the night customers. I accepted this but at the same time I was worried we were going to get some last-of-the-day pizza ingredients. It was 9.30 and they closed at 10, but i was so hungry I didn't care. To make things even scarier, it was only a short while after me and my lady had gotten our drinks and were seated, we were served our dinner.

My worries were unfounded. This pizza was the proverbial bomb! To their credit every single ingredient from the Greek sauce to the tomato tasted as if they just prepared it! Honestly, i was a little nervous about the Greek sauce as I am a big fan of red pizza sauce, but their Greek sauce set off the pizza's fanciful medley of ingredients amazingly. Normally, me and my girl will order a medium and leave about half the pizza for the next day. This time, we killed it in 20 minutes flat. Oh so tasty. As a side note, I noticed in their menu that they offer a wide array of burgers and sandwiches which reminded me of the many sub shops that cover the east coast. So, not only will I be back for their pizzarific pizza but I gotta come back to try their sandwiches which look fantastic.

The Breakdown!

1 mediumTimothy's Greek Pizza.
2 Diet Cokes
Total price = 23.86 (tip inluded)

Where to find them.

Mark & Monica's Family Pizza
4751 Manzanita Ave
Carmichael, CA 95608-0839
916.487.1010

You have offended my honor with your Mayo!

It was couples night for me and my girlfriend, so we called up one of our favorite couples to grab food with and headed down to Rancho to one of their favorite sushi spots, Samurai Sushi. This place was out in the middle of nowhere off Folsom Blvd by hazel. When we walked in I have to admit I was expecting yet another in a recent line of disappointing sushi spots. Back in the day I never thought that it was possible to get bad sushi. I mean...It's fish and rice...How the hell can you fuck that up? However, this was before the Mikuniazation of Sacramento sushi spots. Seems like the new rule for originality in sushi rolls = wrapping 4-6 different types of fish and then Smothering it in 15 different kinds of mayonnaise sauces till it has no distinct taste and call it something like "sacto's amazing dragonball z roll". The menu at Samurai was very enticing as I saw many items I thought would be tasty and they seemed to stray from the Mikuni's formula which was a pleasant surprise. There were various rolls and dinner dishes that really caught my eye as being uniquely styled and enticing as to ingredients.

I was famished as I had not eaten all day. I ordered some edamame for the table while I was waiting for everyone to get what they wanted. As the table ruthlessly went through the edamame I decided to order some gyoza to ease back some of the more severe hunger pains I was feeling. The gyoza was crunchy and without a distinct flavor but tasty all the same. The sauce that accompanied the gyoza was different than most that came with gyoza at other restaurants, however I was not fond of this sauce in the slightest. For my main course I ordered the Sea Steak, which was tuna lightly seared with a spicy tapatio type red sauce that I enjoyed and soy based dipping sauce that I was not all that fond of. All I have to say is...DAMN! The sea steak was amazing. So tasty...So fresh...SO GOOD! I could have pounded two more plate fulls just on sheer taste alone, not to mention the serving size of the fish was very generous. My friends had a few rolls that I forget the name of, but looked like dumplings swimming in a sea of mayo and tasted pretty much the same except for one that had a very unique tasting sauce. I did notice strawberries on one of their rolls but when I tried it the strawberry taste was unfortunatly lost in the sea of mayo. My girlfriends rolls were more of the simple variety and tasted excellent and very fresh.

I was feeling like something sugary afterwards and decided to hit up some coffee Mochi which was Mochilcious like always (i think all restaurants use the same pre-packaged Mochi ice cream..). Everyone else at the table had some of the fried tempera ice cream, which honestly I thought kinda sucked. I only thought this because the only ice cream that survived the frying was freezer burned harshness. I've had lots of fried ice cream that was way better.

I will be back again to try more of their dishes as there were many that caught my eye even though some dishes were a bit dissapointing i think overall Samurai's is a place with alot of potential and I must say they are fast on the drinks, which is always a bonus.

The Breakdown!
dinner for 2
1 roll
1 special single roll
1 Sea Steak
1 Gyoza
1/2 order of edamame
1 diet coke
1 tea

total price = 57.00 (tip included)

Where to find them!
Samurai Sushi
12251 Folsom Blvd
Rancho Cordova, CA 95742-6305
9163531112

The Legend Of Zelda...Pizzalcious!

Originally my lady and I had plans to meet another couple at one of downtowns favorite restaurants, Zelda's original gourmet pizza. They flaked out due to a 5 day party binge which ended in tequila shots at 5am. We however were champions and had been looking forward to hitting up Zelda's all week. I lived downtown for 28+ years and Zelda's has always been a favorite of mine. So, hand in hand we walked through the doors of Zelda's ready for pizza Chicago style.

We grabbed some menu's and walked past the bar and into the dining area and found some seats. The first thing you gotta know about Zelda's is that to say the lighting is "moody" is an understatement. It's dark. Luckily I am an avid smoker, so I was able to light the candle on our table to give us a more romantic feel instead of "lost in the Amazon at night" feel. The second thing you really have to be prepared for is the temperature. It's humid. While we were waiting for our pizza, I heard the waitress telling another table full of customers that she was sorry for the temperature and that they were getting their air conditioning fixed. All I have to say about this is...Bullshit. In all the years I've been going there, it's always been an uncomfortably warm eating spot that usually takes about 20 minutes to get used to.

The decor is pretty downtownesque. Exactly what you would expect of a "local" joint. Nice booths with big high backings, which make for an intimate dinner. Crushed red velvet, Lots of nice wood, and a few cheap tables and chair sets added here and there to take on any overflow customers. Oh and of course surly staff that's a must for any local spot.

Despite all my bitching, here's the thing. Zelda's is a unique addition to Sacramento as it is the only place (and actually in my experience, California) that sells this certain style of pizza. The pizza crust has this unique consistency and taste to it. It reminds me of pie crust. It's very thick and very heavy. Granted, I'm no cook but I'm guessing it's made of cornmeal. It's served in a very heavy, deepdish, iron pan. This is a sort of foreshadowing for the pizza, as it looks as it tastes. THICK and HEAVY. You know the funny part, I have ordered pretty much everything off the menu, and the one thing that's always stuck out to me as this pizza being different, besides the crustalicious crust, is that whatever mega combination of ingredients you order...It all ends up blending a lot. There's no real hardcore distinction between flavors. Sure the pizza has 4 different cheeses (ALOT of cheese), but what you end up tasting is this single cheese that's the lovechild of them all yet is it's own single brand of deliciousness.

Here's what you need to know... The pizza's real good.. And really different than what your used to as a Sacto native, you gotta try it.

The Breakdown!
1 spiccoli (or something, I forget) Medium pizza
1 diet coke
total price = 23.00 (tip included)

Where to find them!
1415 21ST St
Sacramento, CA 95814-5208
916-447-1400

Oi, that's what I call a pasty!

I was leaving Fry's electronics pissed off at the poor customer service, when my friend Suzy called me up to meet her and her boyfriend at this pub. The pub was located in the Fab Forties and went by the name, BonnLair. First off, I was amazed that I had never been in this pub as I recognized two old friends and the bartender as soon as I walked through the door. Secondly, I was really impressed at the great euro-styled decor. Lots of private booths and it was refreshing being at a bar that actually had pint glasses with lables instead of the same 'ol clear pint glasses. I remember when I was about 21 or so, my friends and I used to play the 'ol "steal-the pint-glass" game. The rules were simple, you must drink the beer of any glass you steal and you cannot steal the same glass twice even if it's a cool lable like Guiness or Newcastle.

They had a small selection of pub food all of which ran along English lines and since I have never sampled a pasty before and I've been hearing all sorts of rumors of these little delights becoming very popular as a late night treat, I decided to try one of the cornish variety. For the unintiated a pasty is sort of like a big hot pocket or a perogi style bundle of tastyness. Mine in particular was filled with steak and potato's. It was on this delcious little pasty that I lovingly poured tasty brown gravy that was provided and topped with a sprinkling of peas. As a warning, this fatty delight was lacking in spices, however it's still Pretty f-ing yummers and honestly it's 100% comfort/late night drinking food.


The Breakdown!

1 Cornish Meat Pasty
1 Newcastle Brown Ale
Total Price = 13.00 (tip included)

Where to Find Them!
BonnLair
916 455-7155
3651 J Street
Sacramento, CA 95816

Late Night Fat-Attacks

Yeah, So it was 2:00 in the a.m. and I was feeling rather piggish. I'm supposed to be on a diet right now, due to a trip to the east coast where I ate at sub shops incessantly. It's Saturday night, I'm by myself, driving around through the south area. Where am I going to go to grab a fast bite to eat? Like that's an actual question.

Robertito's on 47th and Stockton Blvd!

Your lucky if the cashire speaks english, however that's always a sure sign that your going to get a kick-ass taco. Or in my case, a California Burrito! The California burrito is fantastic, it comes with cheese, pico de gaillo, french fries, and carne asada in huge mouth watering and waist expanding size, all wrapped in a tasty tortilla. The tortilla's are the real seller here. I mean honestly, we live in sacto... there's a dozen great places to grab a burrito, however none have tortilla's like Robertito's. Go to Carolina's, Adalberto's or whatever your 24hour, cash only, taco hut is and buy a burrito. After you do this, drive to Robertito's and order the same burrito. I guarentee you'll be able to taste the difference in the tortilla's. test me. You go NOW!

The Breakdown!

1 California Burrito
total price = 4.09

Where to find them!
6353 STOCKTON BLVD
SACRAMENTO, CA 95824

Want a quick bite to eat?

So, my girlfriend and I are running some errands before she has to leave for work to do a 48 hour shift and this is when hunger strikes us. We weren't in the mood for anything really all that fancy, but we wanted to try a new restaurant and defiantly didn't want to do the drive-thru burger experience. Anyways, we found ourselves in the Loehmann's plaza area, and the only middle of the road type restaurant I know of is Jack's urban eats and I wasn't really feeling a steak sandwich or anything to Americana. However, as we were driving through the parking lot hoping Jack's would be serving their tasty Mac n' cheese, we spied a little pizzeria neither of us have ever eaten at.

She was down to eat anything at this point as she was famished and I figured it might be good because at one point I worked for a guy named Giovanni who just happened to be an excellent cook, so we decided to take our chances.

The place was rather small on the inside, but it was comfortable. The cashier took our order and we took the bar seats next to the window as there were a few families with lots of children in line behind us. All I have to say about the food is ...Oh Damn... Very NYC authentic, very thin crust, really good cheese, not an overbearing amount of sauce, and perfectly cooked. The medium was a perfect amount for two people. We ordered the Don Giovanni special which was a roasted red pepper and sausage pie. The sausage was spectacular, Once again... They have DELICIOUS sausage. My only regret was that I did not have room to try their spumoni cake desert. It really looked tasty as hell.

The Breakdown!

1 medium Don Giovanni's Special Pizza.
2 Diet Cokes
Total price = 18.80

Where to find them.

Giovannis Pizzeria
2449 Fair Oaks Boulevard, Sacramento, CA 95825
Phone: (916) 487-1277